QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR CELEBRANT

By Rebecca Camden

There is one person who will stand between you and your groom on the big day…literally…your celebrant. Their very choice of tie or suit can make or break your alter photos. Their choice of words and pronouncement of names can come off as professional and warm or like you found them in the yellow pages under ‘C’. It is important that the few meetings you have with your celebrant establishes key facts and gives them some idea of what you expect for your service.

A few key questions you should ask yourself and your celebrant include:

Do you want a religious or civil celebrant?
This is an important question as it will set the tone and sequence of events during the ceremony. A religious celebrant will cater for faith specific ceremonies and may add Biblical references as well as a prayer or blessing to the ceremony. A religious celebrant is often a registered minister and they can refuse on religious grounds to conduct the ceremony. A religious celebrant may see it as their responsibility to ensure you are both well informed about the decision you are making and have a foundation of faith on which to base your marriage.

A civil celebrant, on the other hand, will focus on the union and agreement minus religion. A civil celebrant is more appropriate if neither you nor your groom have religious beliefs or are agnostic. This ceremony may be shorter in length, however, does not mean you cannot have readings from your favourite poet (Shakespeare) or even song lyrics (Sinatra).
Do you want them to give a message or sermon? If so, how long should it be? Will you be able to hear it in advance?
Do they expect payment upfront (on the wedding day), before or after? How much to they charge? Is it a fee or donation?
Are they available on your wedding date as well as the rehearsal date? Are they performing any other ceremonies on the day and therefore committed to a strict timetable?
Do they organize documentation or expect you to bring it with you? If they require you to organize it, when do you need to present it to them?
Are they comfortable doing inter-faith ceremonies? (If applicable)
Do they expect you to receive pre-marriage counseling? Most give it themselves, but if they do not, who do they recommend?
Don’t be scared off by the word ‘counseling’ as it is more a discussion and is often fun and informative. Pre-marriage counseling is an opportunity for you and your fiancé to discuss issues you may not have thought about. It is a profitable experience in communication, the key to all good relationships, and recommended whether you settle on a religious or civil celebrant. It may be something you are thankful for doing for the rest of your marriage and is well worth the small charge and sacrifice of time. Why not turn it into a date-night and have a nice dinner afterwards? These times together will be special and often sparse in the hectic lead-up to your big day.
What colours will the bridal party wear on the day? Let your celebrant know what colours would be appropriate for them to wear. Is there a dress code (formal, semi-formal)?
Give them a time frame for the whole service. How long for vowels, sermon (if applicable), communion (if applicable) etc?
Ask your celebrant to show you sample ceremonies or vowels for you to choose from.
Ask if it is acceptable to write your own vows, include your own poems or readings? Are there any restrictions on the type of music that can be played or readings?
Do you want the celebrant (and their spouse/partner) at your rehearsal dinner and/or reception? Would they play a role there, such as give a blessing?
When do they want the marriage licensed to be signed? (Some prefer to have all signatures completed before the ceremony and ‘fake’ sign on the day, hint: make sure you have a nice-looking pen for the signing).
Are there any other restrictions you should know about, such as video and photographs in the church or room, throwing rice or confetti?
Most importantly, is this celebrant the person the one you want for your special day?
Always thank each celebrant for their time but if necessary, explain that you and your fiancé have not yet settled on a celebrant. Be courteous and let them know as soon as possible whether or not their services will be required. There are many celebrants available and it is perfectly acceptable to ‘shop around’ to find the one you are most comfortable with.

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