THE GROOM’S BIBLE:

I know, I know.  Planning the wedding is typically the woman’s domain, and frankly, you would rather watch the footy.  But being inactive with your wedding preparations is like letting your girlfriend choose the movie: it may be a lot less hassle, but you’ll be kicking yourself when you have to sit through another session of “Steel Magnolias”. So it’s in your best interests to be informed and proactive, and here is a “biblical” reference point for all your wedding duties.

Pre-Wedding Guide:

• Buy the wedding rings. 
  Yes, definitely your job.
  
  
• Arrange the DJ or band. Search for musicians, audition applicants and get them signed up ASAP.  Compile a playlist for the night, and remember, the list of forbidden songs is just as important as the favourites – you might regret it if the DJ started playing their Eminem collection.  Make sure she has her songs played too.  Surprise her with a special announcement and performance of her favourite love song. If you don’t know what that song is, firstly shame on you, and secondly ask one of her bridesmaids to find out.
  
  
• Get your cavalry of backup men together.  The first rule of having groomsmen is delegate, delegate, delegate.  They are here to make your life easier so use it to your advantage.  This means choosing men that are responsible and trustworthy, so that mate of yours who’s best known for his streaking arrests at the cricket is definitely out of the question.  Start with the best man and move on to the rest, remembering that if you have a brother, he is your best man, not your buddy – end of story.  Remember groomsmen also double as ushers, so offer unsuccessful applicants a place in your wedding this way, or possibly at the bucks party.  It’s important you thank your men with simple and memorable presents, some popular ones being wallets, watches, signed diaries and pens.
  
  
• Plan the honeymoon and don’t forget to book the tickets early.
  
  
• Have your say in where your friends and family are seated at the reception.  Your bride may not be aware of Uncle Gus’ eyesight problems, so it’s your responsibility to make sure he is as far from the crockery as possible.
  
  
• Consider taking dance lessons.  A good idea if you want to surprise your bride on the night.
  
  
• Dress to impress.  Find your suit well in advance by designating a day for you and your groomsmen to try on your penguin gear.  If you find a tuxedo a little too formal, think about double or single breasted suits, or even casual wear if you are having an informal wedding.  And just for the record: retro, bell-bottom suit sets are not hot.
  
  
• As for the decorations, it need not all be frilly lace and flowers.  How about fishbowls on the table or a red carpet? Your signed Shane Warne cricket ball probably wouldn’t cut it, but it’s always worth a shot. 
  
  
• Surprise your bride.  If you know you won’t be seeing her the morning of the wedding, write her something that she will find on the day.  Stuffing a little note into her shoebox will really comfort her, and perhaps arranging for someone to deliver her breakfast will get you a whole lot of brownie points.